Monday, April 6, 2009

BIGFOOT: How 'bout a big foot in your big face?

Now usually I don't get along with homo sapiens, but I don't mind tweeting with a few over the interweb. Yep, the www is pretty sweet, but unfortunately it also allows dumbshits with blogs (yes, I'm even including you, fucking Penguin) to rant about me, and then think that they can actually get an appointment with yours truly.

Hello! I'm freaking Bigfoot! I've avoided humans for like a thousand years. And, what, you think that I'm suddenly going to just talk to some little schmuck from the blogosphere? Oh, your little blog is having a fantasy week? Well then, let me just come out of hiding and give you a big juicy exclusive tell-all interview. Instead of Frost/Nixon, it'll be FUP/Bigfoot. I'll even let you keep the movie rights!

Damn, and I thought Bigfoot hunters were annoying... At least they have the guts to come out to my home turf and try to find me. Or at least pretend to find me.

Here's your exclusive, FUP: If you don't shut your blogging little mouth, I'm going to take that unicorn, shove it up your ass and make all of your fantasies come true.

In response to FUP's "Fuck you, Bigfoot"


  1. BF, you're totally my BFF.
    And I'm way tired of that Harry and the Hendersons weirdass.

  2. Are you related to Chewbacca, Bigfoot?