Friday, April 17, 2009

HIPSTER OWL: FUP, I'm just not that into you


Hey FUP, did it ever dawn on you that I'm disinterested in your stupid watermelon gelato because I’m a FUCKING CARNIVORE? Not to mention that I actually hunt my own prey rather than have my food served to me in cute little plastic bowls with neon fucking spoons, you lazy fuck. Did you ever stop and think that maybe it’s a bit ignorant of you to expect me to conform to your trendy scenester activities, like getting gelato? So I ask you, WHO’s the real asshole here, FUP?

And WHO’s calling WHO hipster? I mean, seriously…gelato? On our next date, are we going to jam out to some Peter, Bjorn & John while discussing the implications of regentrification over some fucking Pinkberry? Maybe after that we can cruise on over to the bicycle kitchen and build a radass fixed-gear together. Or perhaps you would prefer to share vegan cupcake recipes over some hot soy chai lattes?

Shit, boss. My only regret in life is not having talons capable of punching you or one of your little cohorts in the fucking mouth every time you ask me, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?”

So, FUP, unless you wanna hit up the All-You-Can-Eat furry rodent buffet, stop blowin' up my iphone with texts to hang out.

In response to FUP's "Jaded hipster owls think they've seen it all" on 4/6/09

40 comments:

  1. Dude! When are you gonna post again? You're hilarious!

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  2. We miss you FMNFUFUP Post again soon!

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  3. why is it taking so long to post? it's been over a month

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  4. All of the above. You have to have seen what's cropped up (or should I say crapped up) in the mean time: FYFYP. He totally SUCKS. Look at the numbers! Hope get back in the game dude. You're good.

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  5. I like your blog dude. Where'd you go? It was just starting to get good. Don't give up...

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  6. When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.............................................

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  7. 快樂是你與生俱來的權力,它不應該取決於你完成什麼。 ........................................

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  8. 如此動感的blog!!!.................................................................                           

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  9. 向著星球長驅直進的人,反比踟躕在峽路上的人,更容易達到目的。............................................................

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  10. 偶爾上來逛逛,下次不知是否還有緣再進來,先祝您平安順利!!!............................................................

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  11. 人自幼就應該通過完美的教育,去建立一種好的習慣。.......................................................

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